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EXCEPTION: If the Bros are within 7 degrees latitude of the equator.
WHY A BRO NEVER WEARS JEANS TO A STRIP CLUB
1. Cloth pockets are roomier and more elastic, allowing for thicker wads of cash.
2. Denim clashes with a club's leopard, zebra, or other safari animal motif.
3. One word, two syllables, three hours in the ER: Zipper.
4.It's a performance, and deserves respect. these erotic dancers have practiced tirelessly on a technically demanding piece of choreographed art. Would you wear dungarees t a ballet?*
5. You don't feel it as much on your kazoo.
*Trick question. Bros don't watch ballet.
COROLLARY: A Bro never reveals how many chicks another Bro has banged.
When a chick meets a Bro there are three things she wants to know:
1. How much money does he make?
2. Is he shorter than her?
3. How many chicks has he banged?
Eventually, she will figure out the first two, but a bro never answers the third question. If, however, a bro feels compelled to answer (i.e., sex is being withheld until he supplies a tally), he can calculate an acceptable number using the following formula:
HOW MANY CHICK IS IT SAFE FOR A BRO TO SAY HE'S BANGED?
n= (a/10 + s) + 5
n= number of chicks
a= Bro's age
s= inquiring chick's slut factor (1=nun, 10 former nun)
EXCEPTIONS: Carrying an expensive TV, parallel parking an expensive car, loading an expensive TV into an expensive car.
If you can't get a bro to scope out your blind date beforehand, there is a way to at least learn how promiscuous she'll be–– have her choose the date venue.
BLIND DATE TRANSLATIONS currently under construction.