The Bro Code

Articles: 1-10 , 11-20 , 21-30 , 31-40 , 41-50 , 51-60 ,

Article 54 : A Bro is required to go out with his Bros on St. Patty's day and other official Bro holidays, including halloween, New Year's Eve, and Desperation Day (February 13).

BROETRY CORNER
There was a young lass from Killarney,
Who promised a gentleman named Arnie,
That she only was his,
Though a fat lie this is,
'Cause last night she was screaming "O'Barney".

I was in love with a chick named pam,
Who showed me pics of her fam,
Pretty cute cat,
But her mom was fat,
So i dumped her that night on the tram.

Article 55 : Even in an emergency that requires a tourniquet, a bro never borrows from or lends clothes to another Bro.

Article 56 : A Bro is required to alert another bro if the Bro/Chick ration at a party falls below 1:1. However, to Avoid Broflation, a bro is only allowed to alert one Bro. Further, a Bro may not speculate on the anticipated Bro/Chick Ration of a party or venue without first disclosing the present-time observed ratio.

Article 57 : A Bro never reveals the score of a sporting event to another Bro unless that bro has thrice confimed he wants to hear it.

Article 58 : A bro doesn't grow a mustache.

Exception: When shaving, it's more than okay for a Bro to keep the whiskers around hes mouth untill the end so that he might temporarily experiment with different facial hair configurations.

Exception: Tom Selleck.

Article 59 : A Bro must always post bail for another Bro, unless its out of state or, like, crazy expensive.

WHEN BAIL IS CRAZY EXPENSIVE?

Crazy Expensive Bail > (Years You've Been Bros) x $100

Article 60 : A Bro shall honour thy father and mother, for they were once Bro and Chick. However, a Bro never thinks of them in that capacity.

Article 61 : If a bro, for whatever reason, becomes aware of another Bro's anniversary with a chick, he shall endeavor to make that information avaliable tho his Bro, regardless of whether he thinks is Bro already knows.

Chicks seem to think annual events other than Mardi Gras, the NFL Draft, and the day the swimsuit edition comes out are worthy of celebration. I don't understand why, either, but i do know if become involved with a woman for more than the occasional toss in the hay (which is expressly not advised), you'll need to be able to recall bertain days of the year with relative accuracy.

Article 62 : In the event that two Bros lock on to the same target, the Bro who calls dibs first has dibs. If they both call dibs at the same time, the Bro who counts aloud to ten the fastest has dibs. If both arrive at the number ten at the same time, the Bro who brought the last round of drinks has dibs. If they haven't purchased drinks yet, the taller of the two Bros has dibs. If they're the same height, the Bro with the longer dry spell has dibs. Should the dry spells be of equal length, a game of discreet Broshambo* shall determine dibs, provided the chick is still there.

*Rock, paper, scissors for Bros.